For far too long women have been deemed insane for simply being the loving and nurturing women God has called them to be!

Let me tell you how all of this started, per usual it’s a relaxing Saturday, I was cleaning the house and checking in with one of my dear friends who is a doll, simply love her and all the affirmations that she speaks with me about. Today, for some reason she explained to me that I had been on her mind, that she had been thinking about me and my life and how proud of me she has been due to the fact that I get it! I smiled as I accepted the compliment and then questioned, “what do I get?”Let me tell you how all of this started, per usual it’s a relaxing Saturday, I was cleaning the house and checking in with one of my dear friends who is a doll, simply love her and all the affirmations that she speaks with me about. Today, for some reason she explained to me that I had been on her mind, that she had been thinking about me and my life and how proud of me she has been due to the fact that I get it! I smiled as I accepted the compliment and then questioned, “what do I get?”

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I think that she meant that at my age, she is able to see that I have a understanding about life that when she was my age she wished she would have known, but what she needed to know and realize that it is the very conversations that I have with her that open up my spirit to speak of such profound wisdom! Our conversations are always full of wisdom and today, I decided to let her know I wouldn’t make money by patenting this concept but would definitely take a moment to actually write about it and share it with others. She didn’t object! So here it is!

For far too long, women who have been manipulated by males that are not men to feel lower than or bad for simply desiring a man in their life to love them? How is it possible that when a man meets a woman and tangles himself in the love that she desires to give him classified as crazy?

For so longment have been able to hide under the radar of calling women crazy to disguise the issues of immaturity that they are not willing to deal with. Issues of being molested and using women to satiate their appetite, calling women deranged if they speak of the ,”m”, word marriage! I don’t understand! Women who put their heart on the line to give a man a chance who from the beginning is more than aware of his horrible motives- to use her and throw her away as damaged good and then become irate if she decides to move on to another man who wants to treat her as the wonderful woman that she is! How is this possible! Men who have no intention of loving, dating in a sophisticated manner or marrying her.

This is a issue because it reveals the extent of damage that our men have endured and how much help they actually need, how they are in need of healing and unfortunately in denial to pursue such! Please don’t misunderstand me, men have had such devastation for having to look over themselves simply for walking out the door and possibly being gunned down for the color of their skin, and we as the women feel the pain when one of our men goes to prison for a life sentence or murdered for no reason. We feel their pain because our communities lose another father, brother, uncle, friend and steward of wisdom, and we get it, we feel it and maybe I really said we get it because we are expected to but honestly we don’t

Even with all this being said, I can’t excuse the fact that we as women want love, nurturing, comfort and companionship and we are not crazy, demented, deranged or controlling because we want to be loved! I mean I wish I could ask a few men these questions because I know that it is not all men, however for far tooooo long have we allowed men to be deemed as men simply if they drive a valuable car, live in a beautiful home, keeps a job, doesn’t live with several of his girlfriend- or shall we say, side pieces!

What is a real man anyway, because we have surely allowed men to place the blame of immaturity on women! She wants too much, I’m not ready for a relationship! I don’t think I gave the impression that I wanted to be married, I don’t even think I hinted around it!

Leaving confusion to be her mental state with no assurance of who she is! I mean, doesn’t this add issues to her life and make her feel less than and beyond devalued, why do women have to suffer so immensely for a man that doesn’t and refuses to mature.

Last year I recall listening to Dondre Whitfield which is Salli Richardson’s husband and he had several dynamic conversations with other men who had been married, one of them being Devon Franklin and he explained how the physical make-up of a man makes him a male by nature however who he is and what he stands for makes him a man!

My best friend actually saw a clip of him this past week and sent it to me and he was stating the same thing, in depth he gave more understanding and said that a man is determined by his capacity to be a servant leader! A servant, which in my understanding requires a level of humility! A leader, seems to me that he would need some courage and vision, a perspective for his life of where he would like tobe in the future and my loves that means that he would have to incorporate you as the woman in it because he’s going to need help!

For far too long, some ( allow me to place the disclaimer in there, not all 🙂 men have used women to help them with their selfish ambitions and desires of fame and required women to be wives without the commitment of being a husband. They desires the benefits of friendship and then call her a headache when she explains her requirements! How can this be?

Allow me to state this so the people in the back can hear me, loud and clear, WOMEN ARE NOT WRONG FOR DEMANDING LOVE AND COMMITEMENT!

No women who knows herself and he worth desires to settle for a “situationship,” or the complication of being a man’s private entertainment while he lives his life publically as if she is not in the back doing all the wifely duties of cooking, cleaning, and doing God knows what else simply so this man can FEEL more of a man! The falsehood!

Women are arising from these oppressive positions where a man will leave you if you desire love, commitment and marriage! Women are not against men, this isn’t about being feminist, its about whats right and understanding her value and worth, knowing that she is worth the time, efforts, dates, dozens of flowers, hugs, kisses, and love! She is not inferior, so male, don’t make her feel bad because you are not willing to give her what she desires however have taken years of her life without honesty to make her aware that you two don’t agree!

Every woman wants to feel that she meets the criteria to be called, “The Mrs!”

I say all this truth to make it plain and clear, men we don’t have a problem loving you, the issue is when you suck the life out of her to and then refuse to return it! A mature women knows that she needs love as well and she isn’t wrong or crazy for leaving you, moving on, pursuing happiness with another gentle-man who is willing to give her what she needs! Its selfish to think she owes you because you have been hurt in the past, you have mommy issues or don’t trust women because the first women you ever loved cheated on you with you best friend and now your secretly bitter and makes every woman pay for it, it’s not her problem, don’t make it her’s!

This is that good ole clarion call to challenge the men who are doing this to heal, actually sit down and think about the countless women you have hurt, made bitter and expected to not move on due to the childish behavior you displayed, its not fair, its damaging our women and sucking the life out of them! Please, if you love women, if you ever had a mother or a daughter, stop doing this! We love you for who you are, it doesn’t take the fancy house and car because half the time women are willing to work with you to build the empire you want to stand on to begin with, she just doesn’t want to be Bernie off of Waiting to Exhale, left after 11 years of helping you build it!

Men, look at your actions, stop hiding behind the number of women you have, the clothes and shoes you wear, the job you have and access your condition, open up, be vulnerable and allow healing to take place, this is the only way our families will be better because it literally starts with you!

We love you!